18-year-old girlfriend finds out about her boyfriend's plans to surprise her with a kitten, but adopts a different kitten instead: 'She decided to get the other kitten and [didn’t] even apologize to me.'

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Ayala Sorotsky • Writer and Editor
May 26, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

We thought really hard on how to start this. Should we tell you about how a person wanted to give a thoughtful gift to his girlfriend, but his plans fell apart? Or should we tell you about someone who fell in love with a kitten and adopted it, despite her boyfriend planning on gifting her one? A story can always be spun, depending on who tells it - in this case, the boyfriend. But this is not a way to start talking about what you're going to read. We want to start with this simple fact:

Animals are not gifts. Animals are living, breathing, feeling, sentient creatures. If a person wants an animal as a pet, they adopt them like they would adopt a child into their family. Adopting an animal is a process of letting a new soul into your family unit. As you don't gift other people children - you shouldn't gift other people pets. Pets are not toys, they are animals.

Now that we've got that out of the way, let us tell you about when giving a kitten as a gift seemed to cost this couple their relationship. As the 19-year-old boyfriend tells the online feline family, he wanted to gift his girlfriend a gift so she won't feel lonely when he's not around. Generally, pets can keep people company, and human-pet friendships are dear and delightful. But the 18-year-old girlfriend found out about the gift. She wasn't upset, and even thought the idea was great. But during this time until the kitten was ready for adoption and the boyfriend actually adopted the little cat baby, his girlfriend fell in love with another kitten and adopted it.

Like with humans, you cannot control who you fall in love with. When you have such a strong connection to an animal, you know you want to adopt them. That's inevitable. But the 19-year-old wasn't having it. He was very hurt from his girlfriend's decision, and told the story to ask if he was overreacting for confronting her about it. People had varied opinions on the matter, but one of them stood out to us - when you want to gift someone a pet, you need to make sure of two things:

  1. The person wants to adopt a pet.
  2. The person chooses the pet.

It's not impossible. We've already covered a couple who did it the right way. But what do you think?

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  • 01
    AIO my gf chose another cat over the one I was getting her relationship I (M19) spent the last months organizing a gift for my gf (F18). We have been dating for almost a year and she always told
    via u/piccolobuioo
  • 02
    me how lonely she felt when I had to leave her house and she wanted a kitten to keep her company. I started researching for kittens needing home and my best friend told me that his cat was pregnant. I
    via u/piccolobuioo
  • 03
    Cheezburger Image 10509478912
    via Ztranger

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 04
    immediately asked him to keep one for me and a month later, the same day his cat birthed I choose a beautiful kitten with two hearts on his little body. She discovered the surprise I was planning for her bc she read a notification on my phone for me while I was cooking that said " her kitten is so cute " with a picture. So we started
    via u/piccolobuioo
  • 05
    talking about it, she was happy, she decided the name, but it would have taken another month to bring him home. Even her mother knew of the surprise and said that the kitten (that was basically already hers) was adorable.
    via u/piccolobuioo

  • Well, technically speaking only - if her mother knew about the kitten-gift, it's not really a surprise anymore. And we have two thoughts about the matter:

    1. First and foremost, cats are not gifts. They are an adopted part of the family, an animal-child, a living being you agree to take care of for the rest of their nine lives. Cats are not gifts.
    2. Cats are still given as gifts, and a gift can be a surprise. But since this kitten was not a surprise to the girlfriend (and even her mother), was the girlfriend in the wrong to “override” the gift she already knew about? Or was she going to fall in love with the different kitten all along, surprise or not?
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10509479680
    via Cats Coming from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    Fast forward, like two days ago, she sees other kittens (bc was visiting a friend of her mother, and her cat also had birthed two months earlier) and she sends me pictures. I was already upset bc it looked like she was interested. She
    via u/piccolobuioo
  • 08
    said she would never take that other cat, she would never be disloyal to her soon to be kitten and to her boyfriend who was planning this gift for months. Yesterday, she told me that she decided to get that other kitten and to apologize to my friend in her behalf. Not even an apologie to me. That I spent months planning it.
    via u/piccolobuioo
  • 09
    Months working to get her everything. It really upset me because there was a whole lot to it other than that just being a kitten. It was something to bring us even closer, a chance to grow a little fella with our love. I confronted her and Im angry bc our confrontation just made me
    via u/piccolobuioo
  • 10
    realize that all the effort I put to give her something special, that would help her to feel me closer, wasn't really that important to her. So AIO?
    via u/piccolobuioo

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  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10509479424
    via irynakhabliuk

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    SpecialistLevel655 • You're overreacting. Lots of the time, you can not pick a pet for someone else. That's not how it works. It also seems like you are more concerned that you aren't bonding over this rather than the fact that she now has an animal to help her feel less lonely. Who cares
    via u/SpecialistLevel655
  • 13
    if your plan blew up. She now has what she needs. I get being somewhat upset over this, but your heart doesn't seem to be in the right place. It also does not take months to get a cat. If this was about her why not just take her to a shelter and let her pick out her own?
    via u/SpecialistLevel655

  • We think this is our favorite comment. Cats are not meant to be gifts, but the suggested giftable format this person suggests is actually very wholesome - you take the person to the shelter and let them choose. This is how you both gift a cat and make sure they're the right fit from the beginning.

  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10509479168
    via Natalia Sotikova

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    Crimson0504 ⚫ NOR: that's just blatantly r de And selfish. I understand her impatience however the intimacy behind the kitten you chose for her versus the one she picked is just lost at that point. It no longer feels as special. You're not overreacting at all.
    via u/Crimson0504
  • 16
    piccolobuioo OP ⚫ She also had the audacity to ask me to raise this other kitten with her like if it was ours anyway. I told her that I have no interest in this other cat at all.
    via u/piccolobuioo
  • 17
    Crimson0504 ⚫ WHAT? Oh yeah noooooooo. At that point, it becomes YOUR kitten and then you'll end up having a pet you never even wanted to begin with and end up resenting the kitten. Her way pushes you guys apart rather than bringing you closer together. The whole point of your kitten was to bond over it with her. She's so missing that point. I'm so sorry OP.
    via u/Crimson0504
  • 18
    Low_Flight_3701 ⚫ i think it's definitely understandable to feel hurt, especially because she didn't apologize to you. It seems like the real point of contention is that you invested a lot of thought and care into something and she didn't show any appreciation. I would focus on that when you talk to her.
    via u/Low_Flight_3701
  • 19
    On the other hand, like someone else pointed out, you don't choose the cat you have a connection with. Something in her brain said "this cat has to be my cat." If you decide to adopt the cat, please try not to carry these feelings over, even if it's hard. The cat is not the issue of this, it's that you don't feel seen by her.
    via u/Low_Flight_3701
  • 20
    Last thing, confrontation is for people you don't want to be around. It's really something that should be avoided in a relationship, and can really sour it
    via u/Low_Flight_3701
  • 21
    Lofty_quackers ⚫ Getting a pet is sometimes a very feelings based thing. When I saw my cats when they were kittens, I knew instantly when I saw "mine". It is like an instant bond. She should have the one that she feels that bond with. It isn't a rejection of you.
    via u/Lofty_quackers
  • 22
    You picking out a kitten for her was loving and wonderful gesture. She felt connected with another kitten. It is fair that you are disappointed and hurt.
    via u/Lofty_quackers
  • 23
    piccolobuioo OP. She still hasn't get the other kitten. I believe it isnt respectful towards me
    via u/piccolobuioo
  • 24
    Z1LOG • You sound controlling and immature. An animal shouldn't be a gift, it's not a toy - it's a living creature & a commitment for many years. Your GF can and should choose her own cat - it will probably outlast your relationship tbh.
    via u/Z1LOG
  • 25
    StrangePhotograph987 ⚫ NOR. She knew that you had spent so much time arranging getting the other kitten and she was too impatient to wait another month for your thoughtful gift.
    via u/StrangePhotograph987
  • 26
    ConsequenceCold11 ⚫ Exactly, NOR. She totally rushed it and didn't respect all the effort you put in. That impatience just wasn't cool given how much you planned it.
    via u/ConsequenceCold11
  • 27
    Roam 1985 ⚫ You're overreacting. Why has no one said "Why not both?" It's kittens.
    via u/Roam1985

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boyfriend adopt aita adoption overreaction cat adoption kitten gift relationships surprise aio girlfriend cute cats adopted entitled reddit thread Reddit Cats entitled people
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